TIPS FOR A SUCCESSFUL CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE
- heiritagecb
- Jan 22, 2021
- 5 min read
Photo by Carly Rae Hobbins on Unsplash
The wedding day is great, fun and interesting for the couple and all their well-wishers, however, marriage itself is more work than the actual wedding day. Marriage is having two unique individuals come together to become one, at least that is what God intended. Yes, when God created man and woman in Gen. 2:24-25, it can be clearly seen that the coming together of a man and his wife eliminates individualism, leaving behind oneness.
...leaving behind oneness
So, the way God designed marriage, it should be a beautiful thing for both individuals so that they can accomplish some purposes here on earth.
Ephesians 2: 10 “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them”
Being a believer is the icing on the cake for your union because God has a plan for you both as an individual and as a married couple. A thorough and complete knowledge of this would ensure that your home is blissful and your life is meaningful. To make the journey worth it, then both partners in the home have some roles to play.
Let’s look at some tips from our #MarriageToolkit that can make your marriage a haven that it should be so that your marriage is as intended by God.
1. Be in it for the long haul. One of the things that have been the staying factor for my husband and I is this decision. We individually came to the realization that we are in this marriage for the long haul and no other option exists. When people begin to consider the alternatives they think they have, they lose sight of God’s only will, which is to stay together in oneness. A lot of people enter marriage with a wrong notion and are looking for the first way out, especially at any sign of trouble. The truth is that you and your spouse are different individuals prior to your union and you need to have your mind made up that you are in it for the long haul. Think about your marriage as an asset that you have to keep and protect.
Marriage is not something one tries on for size, and then decides whether to keep; it is rather something one decides with a promise, and then bends every effort to keep. —Leon R. Kass.
2. Be quick to forgive. Growing up as a young woman, I soon realized that it is a great turn-off for me when I see people who find it difficult to let go of the past. Letting go of the wrongdoings of others is not for them but for yourself. The truth is that you would always have a reason to grind at one another, especially in the early days when you are trying to blend together. It is God’s desire that you forgive those who offend you, Jesus taught us that using ‘The Lord’s Prayer’, because you equally need forgiveness. Don’t keep a notebook of wrongdoings which you display at every opportunity just because you want to make your partner uncomfortable. Learn to let go and forget all that happened in the past. Move on.
3. Show your commitment to one another. Once married, be committed to your spouse’s feelings and the marriage in total. Make effort to understand their desires, don’t be passive within the home. Have you made effort to know why she is withdrawn? Most times, women are ‘oddly’ expressive and act like it really didn’t matter when it did. Pay attention to her emotional needs, even when she isn’t saying much. The kind of commitment you make to one another will determine the level of trust, belief, acceptability and love you enjoy in the home. Give yourself to one another by committing to your individual responsibilities.
4. Make up your mind that money would not cause issues. Money, money, money is one major issue that destroys homes. The love of money is the root of evil and the rate at which everyone desires it shows that greed and selfishness can leave a formerly joyful home sorrowful. Money is just what it is – money. Make up your mind that money would not be an issue, whether it is abundant or not. Remember, if you have decided to commit your life to someone, then why shouldn’t you do the same with your money? Which is more precious- you or your money? Learn to agree on how/what you plan to do with your resources. Every time you allow money to cause problems in your union, that means you are going contrary to the will of God and are putting asunder what God has joined together. Agree on how your finances will be managed and handled.
5. Pray together. Every believer ought to spend time communing with God, but more than that, a Christian couple must spend time upon their ‘couple’s altar’. The couple’s altar is your place of spiritual togetherness and you must give time to it. If possible, pray daily together so that you can sharpen your togetherness, love one another better and accomplish your purpose as a family. Remember that the desire of the devil is to ensure your soul is lost, and he does everything possible to accomplish this feat. If you know that your home is important to you, then, create time to pray together and watch how God fortifies your home against the attacks of the devil.
6. Spend time together. The busyness of the day that goes on for months into months does not allow room for time alone with one another. When the children start coming, it further limits the chances of a special time together. For relationships to thrive, there is a need for intentionality and nurturing. Create time as often as you can where you just be together, just the way it was during your courtship. Time spent together helps you unwind, appreciate yourselves and refresh you both for the coming days.
7. Be interested in the growth of Your Spouse. A spouse should be the number one cheerleader of their partner. Never ever get in the trap of competing with one another. You are compliments of each other as God has ordained it. Iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend. Support, encourage, give opinions and be available to cheer your partner as they accomplish new milestones. When you feel threatened by the success of your partner, then it must mean that you require help and should go for it. Don’t hesitate to get help if truly you are an heir.
Marriage is great because God authored it and gave it as a gift to mankind. In His design, he wants your happiness as well as your spouse's, yet, He wants you to focus on being the better person first, show a good example to your spouse by the way you conduct yourself. Soon, the other spouse would catch on and equally become better. Take whatever action you need including speaking to a counsellor or Pastor for guidance.
God loves you and so do I. Grab a copy of our Couple's Prayer guide for your couple's altar.
#marriage #christianmarriage #tipsformakingmarriagework #tipsforasuccessfulchristianmarriage #marriagetoolkit
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