MARRIAGE TOOLKIT

Marriage is ordained by God, however, as you trust God to journey with you on it, then you have to come prepared. Marriage is the joining of two individuals who were leading separate lives, under a different set of rules and unique parental values too. No wonder, it requires that you go with your toolkit for you to have a successful journey in this new path.

In environments where culture and tradition rules, mothers would prepare their children by telling them various stories, giving them stories of how to behave with their husbands and inlaws too. In the body of Christ, there are also guided expectations and behaviours that are expected of all those who see themselves as children of God ahead of their desire to start a new home.

The Marriage toolkit for believers should be well kitted before the journey begins otherwise one would nearly be like the 5 foolish virgins who intended to follow the bridegroom but failed to prepare.

So what should be in the toolkit?

1. Christ-centric lens: A lot of people see marriage from a skewed point of view. Some see it as freedom from parental bullying, while some see it as liberty to live their lives. As children of God, you should see marriage the way God sees it, as a Ministry. It is much more than being a good man or woman. The only example that that Bible used to describe the relationship of Christ and the church is marriage and that places a huge task on marriage. Having on a Christ-centric lens ahead of building a home will ensure that your focus is on the right person (Christ), and you see things through His views.

Ephesians 5:25: "For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her."

2. An Enlarged Heart: The way people talk about love and loving other people shows that indeed love is overrated. A man claimed to love his wife yet he hits her so bad that she lands in the hospital several times, time and time again, and he says 'i hit her because i love her and want to correct her'- How sad! Is love overrated when it comes to God? NO!, because God is love, Hs entirety is love. He loves every one of use no matter the depth or volume of our shortcomings. To be able to love the unlovable and remain sane, then you require something that others do not have - an enlarged heart. An enlarged heart is a heart that carries the DNA of Christ, not the DNA of the world. There are many things that would gripe at you in your new home including frustrations from inlaws but with an enlarged heart, you would be able to love them all without giving up. One woman once told a story of how her inlaws made life difficult for her when she got married and how she purposed in her heart to love them nevertheless. Eventually, she was able to win all her inlaws to Christ. Her testimony is only possible because she had a transformed heart.

Romans 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God

3. Self-Identity Manual: In your #marriagetoolkit, you must have a correct understanding of who you are. Your self-identity manual is God's words, because that defines you and shows you how to maximize yourself. A lot of people think that the real person is the face that they carry around without realizing that they were actually created in God's own image. A songwriter once wrote, "I know who God says I am, what he says I am, where he says I am..." Don't go into marriage without knowing YOU! Who are you? Are you truly a child of God? Examine yourself through the mirror of God's word and realize that you are the best version there is. Hence, no need being a weaker version of yourself, no need imitating others or living life by the dictates of the world. You are created by God for His purpose. It doesn't matter what other people think, so long as you are a child of God who is living to please Him. When you know yourself, then it becomes difficult for you to conform to the opinions of men or wrong counsel which are bound to come.

2 Corinthians 3:18 "But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit."

4. The Mobile Line: The mobile line is your communication line between you and your spouse. Entering into marriage means that your mobile line must remain unclogged, make it a decision to communicate and refuse to sweep things under the carpet. sweeping things under the carper just means that some bulky object will wait for you till such time that you trip on it and everything comes pouring out. As a child of God, you are not permitted to bear grudges nor keep malice. It becomes disheartening to hear of believers keeping malice with their spouses for days...make a decision that you would utilize your mobile line so you can dislodge any doubt or concerns if and when they arise. Communicate, but do so in love, not out of anger, rudeness or bitterness of heart. Have a no-secrets principle as you set on this journey.

Ephesians 4:25 "Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another."

Realize that the #marriagetoolkit is a toolbox that you have before you start a home and you need it while in the union as well. If you leave your toolkit outside the home, it becomes a challenge when you need any of those tools as the days go by. Being a wife for 13plus years has taught me quite so many things, some of which now constitutes my toolkit and I go in there anytime to select the tool I need per time.

You can grab a copy of our couple's altar prayer guide to help you on this journey.

#marriagegoals #christianrelationships #marriagetoolkit #communicationinmarriage